Stop being so positive – be constructive!

In my last article, I spoke about spotting toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is the tendency to suppress or deny what are perceived as negative emotions and only focus on positive thinking, often leading to invalidating or dismissing genuine feelings. Now let’s work on overcoming toxic positivity, build our emotional intelligence and take Key Steps to…

‘be the difference that makes the difference.’

1. Set realistic expectations. Understand that life has ups and downs, and it’s normal to face challenges. Set realistic expectations for yourself and others, and don’t expect everything to constantly go well and to always feel positivity.
   
   
2. Avoid judgment. Stop labelling emotions as “good” or “bad.” Emotions are natural responses to our experiences, and trying to force yourself to feel positive all the time is unrealistic and counterproductive. Emotions give us information and often a lot of energy. When we can acknowledge our emotions we can channel them, express them and use the energy in effective ways. Remember
   
   
3. Build self-awareness regarding your emotions. It’s essential to recognise and validate your emotions, including the ones that are often perceived as negative. It’s normal to experience a wide range of feelings, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry and / or frustrated sometimes. Remember to express it as “I feel sad not I am sad.” Continue to work on improving your emotional intelligence by identifying and understanding your emotions (and those of others). This can help you communicate more effectively, build stronger relationships and empathise with yourself and others.
   
   
4. Practice empathy and compassion (of self and others). Treat yourself and others with kindness and understanding when you experience difficult emotions. Remember that everyone goes through tough times, and it’s okay to be gentle with yourself during those periods.
   
   
5. Practice mindfulness and find healthy coping mechanisms. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment without judgment. By being mindful of your emotions and thoughts, you can better understand them and respond to them in a healthier way. Instead of suppressing emotions, find healthy ways to cope with them. This can include journaling, talking to a friend or therapist, engaging in hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques. Remember that if you suppress your sadness or anger, you rob yourself of feeling the depth of your joy.
   
   
6. Create a support system. Surround yourself with people who allow you to express your feelings without judgment. Having a supportive network can help you process emotions in a healthier way. Be aware of when toxic positivity creeps into your own thoughts or conversations with others. Encourage open and honest communication with others, allowing them to share their feelings without judgment.
   
   
7. Seek professional help if needed. If you find it challenging to break free from toxic positivity – perhaps you find yourself continually putting on a brave face, acting like you are happy when you aren’t and or struggling with managing your emotions – consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and tools to help you navigate difficult emotions in a healthy way.

Remember that embracing your full range of emotions, both positive and negative, is essential for personal growth and well-being. Striving for emotional balance is healthier and more sustainable than forcing yourself to be positive all the time.

‘be the difference that makes the difference.’