Yip, you guessed it… it is yourself! If you are currently dealing with a situation where you have felt deeply hurt by another’s actions, you might be thinking that they are the hardest person to forgive but looking back over your lifetime, I am sure you will agree that the hardest person to forgive is usually yourself. When we mess up, do or say something we regret, most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we do others, so when it comes to forgiveness, it’s very difficult for many to forgive themselves, move on and heal.
As Ghandi says, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. So, let’s take Key Steps this week to access our inner strength and…
Forgive yourself!
1.Recognise the inner dilemma you are probably facing. The key to forgiveness as a whole has always been the concept that forgiveness is not about the person that offended you, as much as it is about you releasing them from the offense. However, when forgiving ourselves, it’s another level, because we have to look at ourselves in the mirror everyday (unless you avoid it). You cannot just shut off your mind/memory or the things you are angry with yourself about. The key is learning to overcome your thoughts, which is the tricky part, and getting the lesson showing up in the feelings of guilt or anger. I’d suggest that you go over the lesson in the past two week’s food for thought – the miracle of the mistake and also the concept of strengthening your inner-mentor and then you can move onto…
2.Releasing yourself from the burden. Use the steps below to free yourself from the self-imposed prison of your mind and unnecessary suffering that does nothing to change anything in the past…
Step #1: Write down (on paper) all of the things that you have done wrong. It is imperative that you write. Word processing is not the same. Then read through the list.
Step #2: If there is someone you still need to apologise to or ask for forgiveness, do it… do it now!
Even if they don’t forgive you, it is a step closer to you forgiving yourself.
Step #3: Now say, “I did the best that I could with the knowledge that I had at the time. I’ve done the best I can to put right where I have done wrong. I am human and that means I have and will always make mistakes… that’s okay, as long as I learn from them and make every effort not to repeat them. I now forgive myself and move forward so I can allow my best self to show-up.”
Step #4: Destroy (burn or shred) the list.
Step #5: Now begin anew to live your life without the burden of unforgiving – it is unnecessary suffering that stops you being able to support yourself or others to live with purpose and passion.
You might be thinking that the above steps are easier said than done. That is true, they are! There is only one person who can make them happen… yip, you are right again… that person is YOU. Do it, do it today and every day going forward and you can…
