What zaps your personal power?

by | Oct 14, 2024 | Achieve Goals, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, Learning, Personal Development

The 6 P’s That Zap Your Personal Power: How to Recognise and Reclaim Your Strength

As leaders, professionals, and human beings, we’re all striving for a sense of balance, fulfilment and impact. I hear this quest every day in the leadership programmes I facilitate. Yet, many of us feel drained, disempowered or unable to fully tap into our potential. What if I told you that there are six common, yet often hidden, habits that silently erode your personal power? Recognising and addressing them is key to reclaiming your personal power. Let’s take a deep dive into what I call “The 6 P’s that Zap Personal Power” and take Key Steps to make a shift and…

‘be the difference that makes the difference.’

  1. Perfectionism: The Illusion of ‘Not Good Enough’
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    Perfectionism often hides behind the guise of high standards, but it’s a trap. When we aim for flawlessness, we place impossible expectations on ourselves, creating anxiety, stress and a sense of never quite measuring up. This erodes our confidence and robs us of joy in the process of learning and growing. Perfectionism keeps you locked in a cycle of dissatisfaction, preventing progress and celebrating your wins.
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    Shift: Embrace progress over perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist, but progress and persistence can move mountains and enable you to be excellent.
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  2. Procrastination: The Thief of Time and Opportunity
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    We all procrastinate from time to time. But chronic procrastination steals our most valuable resource – time – and with it, our opportunity to grow and achieve our goals. It keeps us stuck in indecision or avoidance, leading to frustration, missed deadlines, and unmet potential.
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    Shift: Ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?” Often, procrastination is driven by a sense overwhelm. Taking even a small step toward action breaks the cycle and returns power to where it belongs: in your hands. Check if perhaps perfectionism might not be at the root if your procrastination too.
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  3. People-Pleasing: Losing Yourself to Gain Approval
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    It’s natural to want to be liked, but when we prioritise others’ opinions and needs over our own, we lose sight of who we are and what truly matters to us. People-pleasing depletes our emotional energy and fosters resentment. It also compromises authenticity, as we bend ourselves – in unhealthy ways – to fit others’ expectations.
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    Shift: It’s time to get comfortable with setting boundaries and embracing the fact that you cannot please everyone all the time. Reclaim your energy by focusing on what aligns with your values and priorities.
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  4. Purging Emotions: Bottling Anger Until It Erupts
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    Many of us have been taught that certain emotions – like anger – are negative or inappropriate. So, we suppress them, bottle them up, and continue like they don’t exist. However, buried emotions have a way of resurfacing in unhealthy ways, often through outbursts or passive-aggressive behaviour.
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    Shift: Acknowledge and process your emotions. Healthy expression of anger or frustration is not a sign of weakness but a path to understanding and resolution. Let yourself feel to deal and heal.
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  5. Projection: Blaming Others for What’s Within
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    Projection is when we attribute our own fears, insecurities or unresolved emotions to others. This can create conflict in our relationships and prevent us from facing the true source of our discomfort – ourselves. It’s easier to blame others than to look inward, but it leaves us feeling powerless and disconnected.
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    Shift: When you notice yourself judging others, take a step back and ask, “What is this really about?” Often, our frustrations with others are mirrors of what’s happening inside. Own your feelings and take responsibility for your part in the dynamic.
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  6. Punishment: The Cycle of Self-Criticism
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    We are often our own harshest critics. Negative self-talk and internal punishment erode self-esteem, creating a cycle of guilt, shame and self-doubt. This inner voice can become an obstacle to success, preventing you from embracing challenges or accepting yourself fully.
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    Shift: Challenge the inner critic by replacing it with self-compassion. Start small – notice the way you talk to yourself and shift from criticism to encouragement and challenge. You are deserving of the same kindness you show others.

 

Reclaiming Your Personal Power

The good news is that once we become aware of these power-draining habits, we can consciously choose to change. Reclaiming your personal power isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being aware, taking responsibility and making healthier choices. When you let go of the 6 P’s, you free yourself to lead with confidence, clarity and compassion – not only for others but for yourself.

What Key Steps are you taking today to break free from these patterns and zap the 6 P’s instead of them zapping you? Take action and watch how your energy, resilience and joy begin to rise as you choose to.…

‘be the difference that makes the difference.’

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Namaste,

 

NOTE: The information in my blog may be freely shared and re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line: This was written by Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, and originally appeared in her free bi-weekly  ‘Key Steps Food for Thought Blog’ available on the Key Steps website.

Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, EQ Expert, Founder and CEO

Sharon is a dynamic facilitator, speaker and executive coach with over 25 years’ experience in leadership development and organisational transformation. Her PhD thesis contributed a framework for holistic and sustainable leadership development that was published by Rutgers University in the USA. She is faculty of numerous business schools and highly sought-after by leading corporates because she works hand-in-hand with them to create sustainable results and long-term success. In 2020, Sharon was inducted into the Educators Hall of Fame, which is a lifetime achievement award, recognising excellence and her contribution to the field.

Sharon is one of only three women in South Africa to hold the title of Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) – the Oscar of the speaking industry. She is also a COMENSA Master Practitioner (CMP), a qualified Modern Classroom Certified Trainer (MCCT™) and an accredited Global Virtual Speaker. Sharon is also a registered Education, Training and Development Practitioner (ETDP), holds an Honours degree in Psychology and practices as an NLP master practitioner.

Most important to Sharon is that she has become known for her genuinely caring manner, practical and transformational approach, and for providing valuable tools and that allow people to take Key Steps to really… ‘be the difference that makes the difference.’