We Can’t Preach Growth and Model Perfection
As we start a new year, there is often the pressure to set goals, declare intentions and step into a “better version” of ourselves. I’d rather invite us into something deeper. Something braver. Something that might just transform the way we lead, learn and live.
Let’s start this year talking about something that is still one of our biggest fears… mistakes.
Research continues to highlight that despite all the talk about psychological safety and learning organisations, many people still don’t feel safe enough to be imperfect…
- 30% of employees report a lack of psychological safety at work – meaning they don’t feel safe to speak up with ideas, concerns or questions.
- One in four workers still say they are hesitant to speak up, even in environments that promote inclusion.
- 43% of people fear negative consequences or retaliation if they raise issues or admit mistakes.
When you take that in, it becomes clear…
Hiding mistakes is still a cultural norm.
Playing small is still safer than taking risks.
Silence still feels safer than honesty.
And that’s a problem, because growth mindset cannot flourish where fear sits in the driver’s seat.
It is up to us to change the narrative… We can’t preach growth and model perfection.
Growth mindset is not built through campaigns or slogans. It’s built through behaviour.
When we show our humanness, we give others permission to show theirs. When we normalise missteps, we make room for insight. When we openly discuss what went wrong, we create environments where improvement becomes possible, not punishable. Every time you speak openly about a mistake, you reinforce something powerful:
“It’s safe here. You don’t have to be perfect to belong.”
So, I challenge you to enter 2026 with a different kind of strength…
Not with the pressure to be better and overcome imperfections, but rather with the courage of authenticity.
Not with rigid or excessively high expectations of yourself (this one is really hard for me) and others, but with a spaciousness that allows learning, trying, stretching and growing.
Because here’s the truth:
Perfection shuts people down. → Vulnerability lifts people up.
Perfection intimidates. → Vulnerability connects.
Perfection creates fear. → Vulnerability creates growth.
This is not motivational fluff, it’s neuroscience. When you make a mistake, your brain produces a burst of electrical activity called the Error-Related Negativity (ERN). This is your brain saying: “Pay attention… something important just happened.”
A second response, known as the Error Positivity (Pe), kicks in when you consciously acknowledge the mistake. This is the moment insight becomes available. But here’s the catch: If mistakes are met with shame, fear or self-criticism, that second response shuts down. Learning closes. Growth stops.
Here’s some practical Key Steps we can take together to… ‘be the difference that makes the difference.’
- Create a “Mistake Minute” once a day
This is a simple but powerful exercise that strengthens growth mindset and diffuses the fear of being wrong.
If you lead a team, invite your people to do the same.
If you lead a family, practise this at the dinner table.
If you lead yourself – which you do – start tonight.
Ask yourself: What was the mistake? What triggered it? What did it reveal? What will I do differently next time?
This removes emotional charge and normalises reflection and learning from mistakes. It trains your nervous system to tolerate discomfort instead of avoiding it.
- Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What is this teaching me?”
This tiny linguistic shift rewires the brain. Shame shuts down problem-solving. Curiosity activates the prefrontal cortex, which is the area of your brain responsible for decision making, emotional regulation and learning.
When you model this shift out loud – especially as a leader or parent – you demonstrate that mistakes are part of the learning journey, not evidence of inadequacy.
- Talk about your mistakes publicly – not privately
One of the most courageous leadership acts is saying something like:
- “I got this wrong. Here’s what I’m learning.”
- “I misjudged, let’s explore how we can correct it.”
- “I overlooked this. Thank you for catching it.”
In so doing, you normalise vulnerability. You build trust through authenticity. You give people permission to take risks. This is real psychological safety.
- Celebrate the attempt, not just the achievement
One of the quickest ways to build growth mindset is to praise the effort, process and courage, not just the outcome. Try saying:
- “I appreciate you trying something new.”
- “Great thinking – even if it didn’t land the way we hoped.”
- “I love the curiosity you brought to this.”
This reduces the fear of being wrong and increases willingness to experiment.
- Use “Try Again Moments”
When something goes sideways, instead of spiralling into frustration, use these questions:
- What went well?
- What didn’t go as expected?
- What will I try differently next time?
- What support do I need?
These simple prompts shift the brain from blame to learning, which is essential for emotionally intelligent future-ready leadership, which is what I want for you for 2026. Let’s be vulnerable and real and take Key Steps to…
‘be the difference that makes the difference.’
