Is positive thinking wearing you out?

by | Mar 12, 2012 | Uncategorised

No matter what happens to us in life we tend to think of it as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And most of us use the ‘bad’ label three to ten times more than the ‘good’ label. When we say something is bad, the odds increase dramatically that we will experience it as such. And that is when we need positive thinking. We take the ‘lemon’, and we scramble to make some lemonade out of it to make something out of this ‘bad’ situation. How tiring and tiresome! Wouldn’t it be nice if you never had to do this again and you could…

Just never see anything as ‘bad’ again

Your “Key Steps” Coaching for the week ahead:

1. Think back to when something good came out of something bad. How many instances can you recall when you initially thought something was a bad thing and it turned out to be not so bad after all or perhaps even a spectacularly good thing? I’ve lost count of mine! You will find many instances in your life, some of them very significant such as the job you desperately wanted but didn’t get only to find that a much better one came by and you wouldn’t have been able to accept it if not for the earlier rejection. The most significant event in my life is when my Mum was diagnosed with systemic sclerosis. Yes, it’s terminal and yes, it felt bad. That was 20 years ago; looking back, it has turned our family into the close, loving family we are. And, although not ideal, it’s not the bad thing I thought it was then. In fact, I can actually see it as a good thing.

2. STOP labelling things as negative. This is quite a radical mind shift. It means that no matter what happens to you, you do not stick a bad label on it. No matter what! You are fired from your job… you receive a foreclosure notice on your home… your spouse files for divorce… your business goes under…. This might seem ridiculous, as there are horrible tragedies and terrible things that happen. Or are they? Is it possible, just possible, that you have been conditioned to think of these happenings as unspeakable tragedies and hence experience them as such? Is it possible that there is a bigger plan and force out there in control and you don’t have to pick-up the burden? I am not saying you have to see these things as good things, just don’t pick up that useless burden of labelling what happens to you as bad and then trying to use positive thinking to make it better. When you can do this, you won’t need positive thinking and much of the stress in your life will simply disappear.

You might be asking, “Can I actually go through life without labelling what happens as good or bad?” Yes, you can. You just have to train yourself to do this (it gets easier with practise). You have been conditioned to think of things as bad or good. You can re-condition yourself. It is very simple but that doesn’t mean it is easy or fast but it is possible. I know because I’ve done it. Start today… one day, one experience, one thought at a time and you can…

“be the difference that makes the difference




NOTE: The information in my blog may be freely shared and re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line: This was written by Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, and originally appeared in her free bi-weekly  ‘Key Steps Food for Thought Blog’ available on the Key Steps website.

Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, EQ Expert, Founder and CEO

Sharon is a dynamic facilitator, speaker and executive coach with over 25 years’ experience in leadership development and organisational transformation. Her PhD thesis contributed a framework for holistic and sustainable leadership development that was published by Rutgers University in the USA. She is faculty of numerous business schools and highly sought-after by leading corporates because she works hand-in-hand with them to create sustainable results and long-term success. In 2020, Sharon was inducted into the Educators Hall of Fame, which is a lifetime achievement award, recognising excellence and her contribution to the field.

Sharon is one of only three women in South Africa to hold the title of Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) – the Oscar of the speaking industry. She is also a COMENSA Master Practitioner (CMP), a qualified Modern Classroom Certified Trainer (MCCT™) and an accredited Global Virtual Speaker. Sharon is also a registered Education, Training and Development Practitioner (ETDP), holds an Honours degree in Psychology and practices as an NLP master practitioner.

Most important to Sharon is that she has become known for her genuinely caring manner, practical and transformational approach, and for providing valuable tools and that allow people to take Key Steps to really… ‘be the difference that makes the difference.’

Seraphinite AcceleratorOptimized by Seraphinite Accelerator
Turns on site high speed to be attractive for people and search engines.