No matter what happens to us in life we tend to think of it as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And most of us use the ‘bad’ label three to ten times more than the ‘good’ label. When we say something is bad, the odds increase dramatically that we will experience it as such. And that is when we need positive thinking. We take the ‘lemon’, and we scramble to make some lemonade out of it to make something out of this ‘bad’ situation. How tiring and tiresome! Wouldn’t it be nice if you never had to do this again and you could…
Just never see anything as ‘bad’ again
Your “Key Steps” Coaching for the week ahead:
1. Think back to when something good came out of something bad. How many instances can you recall when you initially thought something was a bad thing and it turned out to be not so bad after all or perhaps even a spectacularly good thing? I’ve lost count of mine! You will find many instances in your life, some of them very significant such as the job you desperately wanted but didn’t get only to find that a much better one came by and you wouldn’t have been able to accept it if not for the earlier rejection. The most significant event in my life is when my Mum was diagnosed with systemic sclerosis. Yes, it’s terminal and yes, it felt bad. That was 20 years ago; looking back, it has turned our family into the close, loving family we are. And, although not ideal, it’s not the bad thing I thought it was then. In fact, I can actually see it as a good thing.
2. STOP labelling things as negative. This is quite a radical mind shift. It means that no matter what happens to you, you do not stick a bad label on it. No matter what! You are fired from your job… you receive a foreclosure notice on your home… your spouse files for divorce… your business goes under…. This might seem ridiculous, as there are horrible tragedies and terrible things that happen. Or are they? Is it possible, just possible, that you have been conditioned to think of these happenings as unspeakable tragedies and hence experience them as such? Is it possible that there is a bigger plan and force out there in control and you don’t have to pick-up the burden? I am not saying you have to see these things as good things, just don’t pick up that useless burden of labelling what happens to you as bad and then trying to use positive thinking to make it better. When you can do this, you won’t need positive thinking and much of the stress in your life will simply disappear.
You might be asking, “Can I actually go through life without labelling what happens as good or bad?” Yes, you can. You just have to train yourself to do this (it gets easier with practise). You have been conditioned to think of things as bad or good. You can re-condition yourself. It is very simple but that doesn’t mean it is easy or fast but it is possible. I know because I’ve done it. Start today… one day, one experience, one thought at a time and you can…
