Is love a decision or an emotion?

There are hundreds of resources that debate whether love is an emotion or a decision. Let’s start by viewing it as an emotion… can you spot the problem? Yip, our feelings and emotions are fleeting, volatile and at times even somewhat uncontrollable. If you believe love is only an emotion, then you’ll be enslaved by your feelings… like anger, jealousy and even happiness and the entire range of emotions we experience as humans. You could easily stop loving your partner, children or friends when you perceive them to have been selfish or unkind, simply because you don’t feel ‘the love’ anymore.

At the root, our emotions are self-serving and self-preserving. They serve our interests and our needs first. That is why love (Although most definitely something we feel) MUST be a decision. We must choose to LOVE our partner, children, friends, etc. There is no place for the fickleness of feelings in true, unconditional love. So, let’s take Key steps this week and.

Make the decision to LOVE

  1. Who do you love? With Valentine’s Day last week, there are hearts everywhere and ‘love’ in the air. This is often just ‘lust’ or romance being confused with real love. True love is not ‘mushy’ or easy or even comfortable… at times, it’s just plain ‘tough’. So, take a moment to really connect today to who you choose to love – even when you don’t feel like it or when they don’t deserve it (because love is not earned), or they’re being a pain in the ass or they’re acting out or whatever behaviour you dislike in the moment. Who do you choose to love? Remember to tell them today, tell them often and…
  2. Commit to really love. The deepest type of love is based on a decision and a commitment you make to love another. I am not denying the emotional aspect of love. In a relationship, we are drawn to another (at first) based upon attraction and yes, feelings. But feelings cannot be trusted for the long haul. Emotions come and go like a roller coaster and if we depend on our emotions we will be falling in and out of love all of the time. To decide to love in spite of how we feel requires sacrifice and hard work. It requires selflessness, self-esteem and humility. It requires a high level of emotional maturity and courage. Do you have what it takes? I know you do! The choice is up to you. You can…

“be the difference that makes the difference