How can you NOT get what you want?

by | Mar 8, 2016 | Uncategorised

Don’t negotiate!

I used to be quite reluctant to negotiate. Many years ago, being a psychology student, I started to look into why this might be and where it could stem from. After I had considered – and ruled out or worked through – things like maybe unconsciously I didn’t think I was worthy of receiving, maybe I was afraid of ‘losing’, maybe it was part of my social style (and the list goes on)… the penny thankfully dropped… I simply didn’t understand the art of negotiation fully and lacked certain skills. Once I learnt how to negotiate, it became easier and easier. Let’s take Key Steps this week to get you started on the journey to...

Negotiate Your Way to Success…
by avoiding these traps

Next week I will share some “do’s” with you. But before we jump the gun, let’s focus on some important “don’ts” and use this week to explore the traps you need to avoid:

  1. Seeing negotiation as confrontational: Negotiation need not be confrontational. In fact, effective negotiation is about the parties involved working together to find a solution. Keep in mind that the attitude that you take in negotiation (e.g. hostile versus cooperative) will set the tone. If you are confrontational, you will likely end up with a fight on your hands and everyone could walk away losing.
  2. Wanting to win at all costs: If you ‘win’ there must be a loser and that can create problems down the line. The best perspective is to try to find a solution where both parties have as many of their needs met as possible. This is critical if the relationship is going to be long-term.
  3. Getting emotional: Displays of emotion are inappropriate; they undermine the rational basis of the negotiation and bring a manipulative aspect to them. Despite this, emotion can be an important subject of discussion because people’s emotional needs must be fairly met. If emotion is not discussed where it needs to be, the agreement reached might only be temporary. Remember to be as detached as possible when discussing your own emotions – discuss them as if they belong to someone else and keep taking Key Steps to

“be the difference that makes the difference




NOTE: The information in my blog may be freely shared and re-used in any online or offline publication, provided it is accompanied by the following credit line: This was written by Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, and originally appeared in her free bi-weekly  ‘Key Steps Food for Thought Blog’ available on the Key Steps website.

Dr Sharon King Gabrielides, EQ Expert, Founder and CEO

Sharon is a dynamic facilitator, speaker and executive coach with over 25 years’ experience in leadership development and organisational transformation. Her PhD thesis contributed a framework for holistic and sustainable leadership development that was published by Rutgers University in the USA. She is faculty of numerous business schools and highly sought-after by leading corporates because she works hand-in-hand with them to create sustainable results and long-term success. In 2020, Sharon was inducted into the Educators Hall of Fame, which is a lifetime achievement award, recognising excellence and her contribution to the field.

Sharon is one of only three women in South Africa to hold the title of Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) – the Oscar of the speaking industry. She is also a COMENSA Master Practitioner (CMP), a qualified Modern Classroom Certified Trainer (MCCT™) and an accredited Global Virtual Speaker. Sharon is also a registered Education, Training and Development Practitioner (ETDP), holds an Honours degree in Psychology and practices as an NLP master practitioner.

Most important to Sharon is that she has become known for her genuinely caring manner, practical and transformational approach, and for providing valuable tools and that allow people to take Key Steps to really… ‘be the difference that makes the difference.’