Care in silence
According to Rothwell and Sredl (1992, p.391), there is an enormous difference between just hearing and active listening. We can “hear” simply on the basis of auditory stimuli. For example, we hear a train, even if we are not paying much attention to it. Listening can be relatively passive, if the listener is not paying attention. Active listening on the other hand is not passive at all. The listener responds to what is heard through non-verbal behaviour that signals attention, interest and concern for what others are saying.
Most people register only about one-fifth of what they hear. Good listeners are, therefore, extremely valuable. The best sales representatives, lawyers, managers and leaders are those who have invested time and energy and taken Key Steps to develop their listening skills. Let’s take Key Steps this week to observe the…
Some listening don’ts
- Don’t interrupt: Save your questions and comments until the speaker finishes talking and you are able to digest his or her words. So, just stop talking and pay attention to what the other is saying. This is often easier said than done. Maybe it will help to remember that when you talk you learn almost nothing new, so, be quiet, listen and learn. Interruptions can take other forms than just speaking over each other. For instance, mobile phones going off, starting to listen to music or watching the TV while conversing with someone, are all ways in which we can lessen the ‘integrity’ of our listening.
- Don’t finish the speaker’s sentences: When we think we know what the other person is going to say, we tend to complete their sentences for them, either out loud or in our heads. If you do it in your head you often miss what they said and might need to ask them to repeat (or worse, proceed with an incorrect assumption). If you do it out loud, they may find it too awkward to tell you that was not what they were actually going to say or, if it was what they wanted to say, they could feel like you don’t care enough to give them space to share. This week, remind yourself that although listening is an active process that requires comprehension, you might not need to say a thing… sometimes the best thing you can do is shut up and listen!
To master the art of listening and gain a host of other communication skills that will catapult your success, contact Sharon and BOOK yourself on our upcoming Assertive Communication and Conflict Management workshop on 17 & 18 January 2017. You can’t afford not to BOOK NOW and take Key Steps to…
“be the difference that makes the difference”
