“Press pause. Breathe. And be honest with yourself.”
You may have wired your brain to feel most alive, purposeful or even worthy when you’re racing the clock, dealing with one pressing matter after another, putting out fires and operating in survival mode. This high-alert state often gets rewarded in fast-paced environments, which only reinforces the vicious cycle. It’s likely become a deeply embedded protective strategy — one often unconsciously adopted to feel in control, needed or validated. The problem is that what once served you inevitably keeps you stuck in a loop of depletion. I know. I’ve been there, done that, a few times. It’s not sustainable, and it’s not where your true power lies.
Honestly, it’s an addictive pattern that is hard to break (because it is so rewarded) but it can be done. I’m happy to say that I’m in recovery and choose recovery every day. I say that seriously, because it is so easy to fall off the wagon. Especially when the world goads you to succumb to being busy and stressed just about every day.
Let me share some Key Steps you can take to break the cycle, step into your true power and…
‘be the difference that makes the difference.’
- Understand ‘urgency addiction’ and how real it is.
Stress can be chemically addictive. It releases adrenaline and cortisol, giving you a short-term buzz that feels like productivity, but it’s unsustainable. Your nervous system becomes conditioned to chaos and calm feels uncomfortable – even threatening. Over time, your brain craves the high — the rush of meeting deadlines, the adrenaline spike of multitasking, the feeling of being needed and important. It creates a cycle where urgency feels like productivity, even though it often leads to burnout and reactive decision-making.
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Your Key Steps: Notice what happens in your body when things are calm. Increase your self-awareness. Do you feel restless? Bored? Anxious? That’s a sign you’ve linked your worth or effectiveness to being ‘busy’. Get curious. What belief might be fuelling this reaction? (“If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.” “Calm means lazy.” “Busy means I matter.”)
a - Redefine productivity and purpose.
You might be reacting instead of responding. Urgency pulls you into short-term tasks. When we’re in survival mode, we set more reactive goals: “Just get through the week.” Purposeful long term goal setting requires slowing down to access your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for vision, planning and wise decision-making where you are able to focus on: “What do I want to build? Who do I want to become?”
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Your Key Steps: Ask yourself powerful questions, “What matters most to me when the noise dies down?” (If you can’t answer that, start here and clarify your purpose and values. Ask, “What would I still care about if nobody applauded or noticed?” and “Am I doing things of value or just staying busy to feel valuable?” Set goals from a regulated state using the “3 Why Rule”. Ask why it matters, then ask why that matters and then ask why again. This helps uncover deeper motivation and connection to purpose.
a - Build ‘stillness tolerance’.
Stillness isn’t laziness. It’s a muscle. When we build the capacity to pause, we make space for insight, creativity and long-term thinking. In fact, some of your most powerful ‘doing’ will come from learning to be. Just like going to the gym builds muscle, rewiring your brain takes repetition, compassion and support. Be patient with yourself and get an accountability partner to assist you if needed.
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Your Key Steps: Create one daily moment of intentional stillness. This could be 5 minutes of quiet reflection, a walk without your phone or daily journaling. It’s not about adding something else to your list. It’s about changing your relationship with time. Challenge the myth. Consider this: true productivity comes from clarity, not chaos. Calm is not complacency; it’s a strategic choice.
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Being addicted to urgency is often a symptom of forgetting your intrinsic worth. You are not what you do. You are who you are becoming — and that’s worth slowing down for and intentionally creating. Hold space for your growth without judgement and you will…
‘be the difference that makes the difference.’
