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Do you make this mistake?

'"Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life."

James Allen

"Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armoury of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace."

James Allen


Do you make this mistake?

Even though I have been running our ‘Key Steps to The BEST YOU through EQ’ programme and supporting people to improve their Emotional Intelligence for over 10 years, I still sometimes catch myself making a big mistake related to feelings. I wonder if you do too… It’s a trap that can really hold us back and is usually very unconscious (that’s the real danger). Let me explain, it goes something like thise who have invested time and energy and taken Key Steps to develop their listening skills. Let’s take Key Steps this week to observe the…

When asked, “So, how do you feel about it?” or “How are you doing?” (Especially after something particularly stressful or frustrating has happened). You might find yourself responding, “It really makes me feel…” or “He made me feel…” rather than saying, “I feel…” or “I felt…”

You might even have someone in your life that reinforces this disempowering pattern by asking you, “How did that make you feel?” This is often asked with great intentions and no awareness of the problem with that questions. So, we need to understand and recognise this trap. Keep reading and see how you can take Key Steps to…

Take your POWER back!

  1. What is the difference? In the first examples, you put responsibility for your feelings onto something (or someone) external and make it beyond your control. In other words, you give them the power to MAKE to feel a particular way. Whereas, the second examples show that you own the feelings and this allows you to… 
  2. Take responsibility for your feelings. The latter responses give you the power to recognise and understand your feelings and then decide what to do about them. They belong to you and are not something that someone else makes you do (like a puppet on a string). So stop yourself from saying “it, he, they, that made me feel…” Your feelings are a mirror of your thoughts and you can choose what to think if you are self-aware enough and taking responsibility for yourself. You might not always want to change your thinking and/or feelings and that’s okay. But then you can at least be aware that you are choosing not to and can then find an appropriate outlet for your feelings (like anger), if need be. 

    It is up to YOU! You can…

“be the difference that makes the difference

 

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